Bring back our masculinity! Stop being a bunch of pussies that have far too much gel in their hair and smell (and look) like women.







The Code: A Retrosexual DEALS WITH IT, be it a flat tyre, break-in into your home or a natural disaster… YOU DEAL WITH IT.






A Retrosexual man



…no matter how much the woman insists, pays for the date.



…doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well.



…does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have two whole supermarket double-sided aisles of “product”. Retrosexuals need deodorant and shaving gear - that's it!



…does not dress like a homeboy with baggy pants that look like he's crapped himself or with a gold chain from pocket to pocket. If you are wearing a hat, wear it correctly - not on the side like a Pimp. Necklaces are out!


…should know how to correctly kill stuff if the need arises. This falls under the "DEAL WITH IT" portion of The Code.



…should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women. Some is inevitable; major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a “manbag” carrying little woos and in the long run, she isn’t worth it.



…is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak BBQ accident, favourite sports team being moved to a different city, favourite dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because “Daddy didn't pay me enough attention”. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, HE dealt with you.



…will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey and knows how to do a Windsor knot when wearing a tie - and only a Windsor knot.



…should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting. This does not include cosmetic surgery scars.



…knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can - or be rightfully ridiculed for the woos you are.



…may cry, but it must have nothing to do with TV commercials, movies or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry. Some of the reasons a Retrosexual can cry include, but are not limited to: death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish and cats do not count as pets in this case) or loss of a major body part.



…will have hobbies (and habits) his wife (and mother) do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged or in a serious healthy relationship. For example, this may include: hunting, boxing, fighting fires, shooting, cigars, car/truck maintenance and drinking beer with the boys.



…knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils. A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants (wherever it lands is where he damned-well wanted it to land).



…when on a crowded bus or a commuter train and a pregnant woman, hell, any woman gets on, will stand up and offer his seat to that woman, then will look around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you rude bastards" look on his face.



…doesn't need a contract - a handshake is good enough.



…doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT!

amen ......

thats the way i was brought up mate ....some of these "snags" have no idea at all .....

A man after my own heart,


BIG D

But, but, I like my heated jacket liner when it's bloody cold outside and I've got to ride. I don't like having to freeze. But I don't mind being called a sissy or wimp or not a real man as I go riding past all warm and toasty on a frosty day.

Quiche? Hate the insipid stuff!

I really like the last portion,evryone seems to be sue crazy in the US. If you doing something stupid and hurt yourself it's natural selection at work and you should learn from it or run the risk of not passing on any genes.
When you get hurt if the last thing you remember is "Hold my bear- watch this" you need to rethink your life style.

Love it.

Remember gentlemen...give a woman an inch and she thinks she is a ruler.( Don't know how that will translate to metrics)

"Hold my bear- watch this"

This is realy code for "call an ambulance I am about to do something really stupid".